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Passy Joachim Column Picture ProfileWhat I remember about Haiti!
By: Passy Joachim, NTK contributor

In 2009, I took a vacation with my family to Haiti and that was my first time there. Of everything that I remember, this is a few of it: Haiti is an island in the Caribbean that shares its land with the Dominican Republic. The weather seems to always be hot, ranging between 27 and 40 degrees, which is strange to me because we have higher temperature in the US in the high 80’s to 100’s. So something seems to be wrong with Haiti’s thermometer thingies. We need to send some American meteorologists to Haiti to fix the weather measurement process there. By the way, have you guys seen the movie "Dumb and Dumber?" I’m just saying. Anyway, to get back to my initial thought, I got a little carried away, when I visited Haiti a few years ago, we stayed in my grandma’s house in a beautiful town, possibly the best one, called Mirebalais. We were surrounded by family members, family friends, people we knew and some we don’t. They all loved us and we loved them back. Chapo Ba to all of them! Seriously, Haiti has great temperature all year long. I must add that we spent some time in a beautiful pool, in a hotel nearby. That was for both my mom and my birthday. Things almost went sour when my cousin Isabelle nearly drowned by testing the depth of the pool. Fortunately my other cousin Rami saw her and screamed, “Gade! Gade! Isabelle is drowning.” Out of nowhere my mom came running, pushed everybody outta the way, jumped into the water with all of her clothes on to rescue my cousin. That saved the day. Kudos to mom and to Rami. Hi Hi!!!

What else do I remember? Hmm! Oh! Oh! Oh! One day, in the middle of the night, I don't know, possible around 4 am, some person, with what sounded like a microphone, started preaching the gospel. I guess this person must have woke my dad up. My crazy dad went out searching for rocks to throw at the guy. God must’ve been with the guy because my insane dad did not find any rocks. I may get some Haitian pow pow for this but I’ll take my chances. Before I totally forget to mention the different, awesome, colorful, and tasty foods that I ate, without forgetting sugarcane, bananas, mangoes, and some sweets, I must admit that Haiti is a very cool place to have been born and raised. So I will give this to my mom and dad that they had a 1% better childhood than we do, I mean all of us Haitian children growing up in America. By the way, that’s Haitian math here! Guess what it would have been like using American math. (Refer to temperature math above).

One last thing that I will share with you for now, as I walked down the dirt roads, and averting my eyes from the naked children (Child safety people, where are you when I need you?!), I looked around and saw buyers and sellers everywhere, and noticed that most people were smiling. That kind of made me feel good. More importantly, knowing about Haiti’s history and how it overcame the French colonization to claim their independence in 1804, that was and still is inspiring. It felt good to be of Haitian heritage and to be surrounded by many of them, both here in the US and there. I promise to visit more often after college. For those of you who have a job, and have left to never look back, shame on you! My brother is behind me on this, right B-man?


I've heard that in Haiti there is a type of a woman called Lougarou who eats kids, sucks their blood at night using some magical straw. If that’s true, I’m kind of happy I wasn't born there! No offense Haitian fellas.

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I’ve also heard that there are zombies sleeping in churches instead of cemeteries. So I wouldn’t advise any kids to go to church because it is not safe. In the USA we bury the zombies in the ground. So it’s safe to go church here and I go every Sunday. I've often heard my parents said they used to go to church in Haiti, I’m not so sure about that, because they are still alive…What about those zombies not eating them?

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I've heard that there are voodoo priests who can kill people, awake them later with some magical potion, then make them work in fields as slaves. That’s kind of a bit spooky, but that’s what I have heard. If that’s true, Haitians, you better look out…

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I’ve heard that people store poop in some houses called Latrine. So my peeps, I would recommend building some sheds for Haitians. Better yet, get Home Depot to donate some sheds to Haiti. So, that’s what the rumor is.

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I’ve heard that some people in Haiti don’t accept being fired, don’t accept defeat, and don’t tolerate criticism. Apparently, we have a tough bunch there. I wouldn’t advise Mr. Donald Trump to make his show "Apprentice" about Haitians or filming it in Haiti, because he won’t make it back to America alive.

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I’ve also heard that Haitians are really, really, really, really respectful, resilient, funny, resourceful, and totally awesome! So I’m proud to be of Haitian descend. My peeps, I will share with you other things that I’ve heard in my future posts.

See Ya!

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